I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize