shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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