Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
