Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
