That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
