Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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