I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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