white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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