dude i'm inner monologue high
im having a threesome with these popsicles
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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