my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
