my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it glows. i had to have it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
