I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
