if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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