im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
