Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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