If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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