How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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