i was born a porn star she said
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
