Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
