Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
