were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
