i wish there were pregnant emoticons
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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