just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize