is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
