I just saw a hot homeless man
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
