Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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