What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
