I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
