she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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