did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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