Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
