so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
