Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Can I color on your dick again?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.