wanna go halves on a baby?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.