I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
