margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
