dude i'm inner monologue high
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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