Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
