the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
