i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
These tits shall not be calmed
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
