and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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