went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
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I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
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Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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