You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
