just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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