If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...