North Korea, Best Korea!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's