The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We are two peas in an std pod
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning