Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
