I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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