How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
