i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
