honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
