dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Pants are for mortals
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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