plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
