After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
