I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize