god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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