I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
