Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
