my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she smelled like a LAN party
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
