she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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