Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
