My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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