I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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