if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you didnt know i had herpes?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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