it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
