Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize