My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
